I can’t sleep
I wake up and find myself imagining my life as though an omniscient force has grabbed me. Took me way up high into the heavens of the earth and allowed me to witness the happenings below. Into the galaxy I flow, weightless, without the burden of living. Until suddenly, I’m in free fall. The force has pushed me out, and forced me back into reality. “You must live life…”
This subconscious voice speaks to me.
A huge drop, and I’m in a war torn area surrounded by rubble and smoke. I see the non existent flesh on the bodies of the young as their hearts suck from within, for a protective barrier. The screams, a cacophony of fear, characterizes the air with a looming thickness. My body begins to tremble violently as I realize this life is reality.
I’m conflicted as I think about how my day has transpired. Into something I have no control over. I raise my hands up above. Searching.
And searching for truth. Times like these disgust as I fall into the category of human nature. The instinct –solely-to ask for help simply for being at the lowest point perceivable. This is wrong.
In acceptance of my downfall, I’m fully aware, however, I get on my toes and continue to stretch my arms to the highest extent.
And suddenly I’m flying, like a seagul I soar into the clouds and wander off into the distance. The wind ruffles my feathers as I grow higher and lean further from the earth. And the destination that awaits opens a pathway, towards an abyss of unknown darkness. I open my eyes and….
I’m back with the children. I can’t run away. This is my reality. And I stare off in dismay into those eyes of glazed fear. I stand up and maneuver myself through the rubble. Aiming for that warmth of human contact. To shower the children with love and care. Closer, closer I’m almost there. She reachers out a finger.. and my hands, as though with a mind of their own, levitate to find her.
But to my surprise, my final destination is my living room couch. I’m awakened by the tapping of my shoulders from my sister to go upstairs. Back into the lair of deceit.